This is all totally on point. I actually worked in the MIC in a public hospital at the time it was pursuing Baby Friendly status. We all had (midwives, nurses, OBs) had to be prepped to be interviewed and "tested" (though not all of us were). I remember studying the "acceptable" answers to many of the questions about breast/chest feeding and being completely stymied by some of them, as someone who at that point had nursed 3 babies for a cumulative 9 years and had helped many others also nurse. It really struck me how much is lost when ways of knowing that have traditionally been passed down by lived community becomes "systematized" (and mechanized, essentially). It was really distressing and depressing. This false dichotomy that has been created in the wake of that is equally distressing and depressing. Believing my needs and my babies needs are at odds turns a profit (in birth by allowing obstetric management that is the most expensive in the world, and in postpartum by leaving mothers endlessly spending money on chasing their "former selves" and by forcing them back to work too soon) . Capitalism thrives on this narrative and so it is heavily, heavily pushed. What's sad is people do the work of our overlords for them by internalizing, naturalizing, and then we are all just trapped in this hegemony. :(
Seems like the desire is less to be away from their babies and more for rest. Immediately following birth, you can be in the same room as your baby and get rest! As the Radical Moms who run this joint have pointed out…you just need that ~village around (in this case, to help you get rest.)
I roomed in with my baby after giving birth at the hospital, and I loved it. I also had my mother and spouse there with me, helping to care for the baby so I could get some sleep (one of them was allowed to stay overnight). Which is why I loved it. I viewed the lactation consultants who literally came to me without me needing to do anything as extremely convenient. Their actual advice/guidance wasn’t particularly helpful…but they tried and at least introduced me to the concept of breastfeeding, and made it seem extremely normal and like something I would be able to do eventually, even if I suuuuucked at it at the time.
Anyway, thanks for the article! I liked giving birth in a “baby-friendly” hospital*, but I can also one hundred percent understand why some people are repelled by the thought
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* FWIW, it was at a Kaiser Permanente hospital in California. Kaiser has its problems for sure but I generally found the whole birth experience to be genuinely centered on both my well-being and the baby’s
What is best for baby is best for mom! What is best for mom is best for baby!
But you have to drop this short sighted, "self care" definition of "best". Yes you will sometimes be uncomfortable caring for a newborn--what's best for you is not necessarily what's EASY or CONVENIENT for you.
But you cannot be anti mom and pro baby. When you hurt mothers, you hurt the babies that are physically inside them, relying on them, and feeling their stress! Babies NEED to see their mother's smile! They NEED to see her HAPPINESS!
Hell, I'm 25 and have a weird relationship with my mom but if someone cut her pussy open it would be a memorably terrible day for me--not optimal for my development at all.
This is all totally on point. I actually worked in the MIC in a public hospital at the time it was pursuing Baby Friendly status. We all had (midwives, nurses, OBs) had to be prepped to be interviewed and "tested" (though not all of us were). I remember studying the "acceptable" answers to many of the questions about breast/chest feeding and being completely stymied by some of them, as someone who at that point had nursed 3 babies for a cumulative 9 years and had helped many others also nurse. It really struck me how much is lost when ways of knowing that have traditionally been passed down by lived community becomes "systematized" (and mechanized, essentially). It was really distressing and depressing. This false dichotomy that has been created in the wake of that is equally distressing and depressing. Believing my needs and my babies needs are at odds turns a profit (in birth by allowing obstetric management that is the most expensive in the world, and in postpartum by leaving mothers endlessly spending money on chasing their "former selves" and by forcing them back to work too soon) . Capitalism thrives on this narrative and so it is heavily, heavily pushed. What's sad is people do the work of our overlords for them by internalizing, naturalizing, and then we are all just trapped in this hegemony. :(
Ooops something got erased. "internalizing, naturalizing, and reproducing this narrative.."
👏👏👏
Fucking absolutely.
Seems like the desire is less to be away from their babies and more for rest. Immediately following birth, you can be in the same room as your baby and get rest! As the Radical Moms who run this joint have pointed out…you just need that ~village around (in this case, to help you get rest.)
I roomed in with my baby after giving birth at the hospital, and I loved it. I also had my mother and spouse there with me, helping to care for the baby so I could get some sleep (one of them was allowed to stay overnight). Which is why I loved it. I viewed the lactation consultants who literally came to me without me needing to do anything as extremely convenient. Their actual advice/guidance wasn’t particularly helpful…but they tried and at least introduced me to the concept of breastfeeding, and made it seem extremely normal and like something I would be able to do eventually, even if I suuuuucked at it at the time.
Anyway, thanks for the article! I liked giving birth in a “baby-friendly” hospital*, but I can also one hundred percent understand why some people are repelled by the thought
—-
* FWIW, it was at a Kaiser Permanente hospital in California. Kaiser has its problems for sure but I generally found the whole birth experience to be genuinely centered on both my well-being and the baby’s
What is best for baby is best for mom! What is best for mom is best for baby!
But you have to drop this short sighted, "self care" definition of "best". Yes you will sometimes be uncomfortable caring for a newborn--what's best for you is not necessarily what's EASY or CONVENIENT for you.
But you cannot be anti mom and pro baby. When you hurt mothers, you hurt the babies that are physically inside them, relying on them, and feeling their stress! Babies NEED to see their mother's smile! They NEED to see her HAPPINESS!
Hell, I'm 25 and have a weird relationship with my mom but if someone cut her pussy open it would be a memorably terrible day for me--not optimal for my development at all.