Thank you for sharing my writing here. My hope is for women to see this and get an understanding of the foundational truth of what the medical system is-it is a system. It is based on procedure, it has does things according to how “things are done”-it is an organized framework of people and machines and policies that functions to make a profit and protect providers.
All of this before it is a place for your humanity to be recognized and your birth plan to be honored. If you experience those things, I am grateful for that and I know it does happen-but that is the exception, not the rule-and that is not only due to the fact of healthcare being a “policy and procedure” factory but also due to just the basic needs of the women and baby in a physiological birth, which the hospital setting just cannot provide due to it’s basic nature.
I birthed five children, and only the first was in the hospital setting, with a doctor in attendance who was supremely patient and non-invasive.
This was in the 70’s, when the invasion on the mother’s territory was not so extreme, but even so, he was enough of a free birther (also willing to attend home births) that the medical association kicked him out and he lost his OB hospital privileges.
Hundreds of his patients/clients demonstrated in support to no avail. Without the option of attending births that might have to move to the hospital, he had to stop the obstetrics altogether, and my last home birth was with a nurse midwife attending, which was probably for the good, too.
Back then, so many of us were pushing back against the desecration, but any gains we made seem to have lasted only a generation. I was surprised to learn how super technical and complicated an uncomplicated birth had become, when with my daughters as they gave birth in hospitals, and saw them deal with various levels of management.
I am grateful to you younger women who are speaking out and resisting and protecting your own selves and families from this abuse, and I’m weeping for all the mothers and babies (and nurses) who continue to suffer in countless ways under this dreadful system.
Thank you for sharing. For those women (and / or their skeptical partners) seeking reassurance about leaving the medical system for their births, this is a powerful summary and tool for contemplation. I hope many families benefit from this writing.
Another powerful and insightful piece as always Emily! Although my experience in the hospital giving birth to my first was fantastic all told, my experience with OBs has been awful. It’s made me more firm in my belief that a homebirth is the way to go for my second delivery. I want to birth in peace and not have one of the most beautiful moments of my life turn into a battle zone because of providers who don’t respect me or respect birth.
I am lucky to live in New Zealand, where we have a midwife-led maternity system. Most births are still in hospitals, but home birth is normal and accessible to most women. My own mother gave birth to 5 of her 6 children at home. When I birthed my daughter into the world at the ripe old age of 23, I chose to do so at home, with my midwife and my mother. I am so glad that I did, as my daughter is my only child. While my birth was an ordeal, it was a powerful experience I wouldn't trade for anything.
While pregnant I filled my head with all sorts of information about birthing and hospitals and all the rest. I was a member of la leche league and home birth groups. While I've moved on into a new chapter of mothering an almost-teenager, what I learned has informed my worldview for life.
I hope all mothers will one day get to experience birth as a normal and powerful experience, with our life-saving medical system there on standby if they need it, not screaming at their faces when they don't.
Hospital staff: "We need to check you so we know where you're at."
Me: "Just trust that I know it's time to push."
And then I proceeded to push out a 10 lb. 4 oz. boy in as instinctive and natural a way as I possibly could in the hospital. Best birth ever. (Note: this was my 6th out of 8 babies, 3 of which were c/sections and 5 v/bacs.) I totally get why many women prefer to birth at home. I'm so glad people are noticing this about hospitals and their mechanistic way of delivering babies and not respecting that this is a natural process for women.
Thank you for sharing this story! I especially appreciate these sorts of stories from women who have had many babies like yourself! I will never forget my first birth, walking into labor and delivery in transition, and the nurse telling me “oh honey, it’s gonna be awhile” because I wasn’t moaning or yelling and just thinking she was crazy. It wasn’t until they got their measurement that they believed me.
I’ve had three births with a CPM outside of a hospital setting.
I started bleeding with my last baby at 16 weeks (baby was miscarried)-- late enough that my midwife told me to go to the hospital rather than try to pass the body at home, and I was legitimately scared to go just because I've heard so many horror stories.
I was legitimately surprised that I wasn't treated like a slab of meat (it possibly helped that I went through the ER instead of the OB office).
Every woman I know who's birthed in a hospital has a horror story. All of them. It's ridiculous.
I’m sorry about your loss, Emily, and glad to hear they treated you well. It is a sad state that we are in that many women feel apprehensive about seeking medical care when they deem it necessary and appropriate themselves.
This absolutely WRECKS my heart and sickens my stomach. I've heard a little bit of what goes on in hospital births, but nothing of this extent. Thank you for listening to that intuition and having the courage to quit. You are making a difference in this space.
I wish more mothers-to-be would believe this about hospital births! I’ve never experienced one but I wouldn’t wish one on anyone (medical emergencies excepted, of course.) Thank you for writing this!
Thank you for sharing my writing here. My hope is for women to see this and get an understanding of the foundational truth of what the medical system is-it is a system. It is based on procedure, it has does things according to how “things are done”-it is an organized framework of people and machines and policies that functions to make a profit and protect providers.
All of this before it is a place for your humanity to be recognized and your birth plan to be honored. If you experience those things, I am grateful for that and I know it does happen-but that is the exception, not the rule-and that is not only due to the fact of healthcare being a “policy and procedure” factory but also due to just the basic needs of the women and baby in a physiological birth, which the hospital setting just cannot provide due to it’s basic nature.
I birthed five children, and only the first was in the hospital setting, with a doctor in attendance who was supremely patient and non-invasive.
This was in the 70’s, when the invasion on the mother’s territory was not so extreme, but even so, he was enough of a free birther (also willing to attend home births) that the medical association kicked him out and he lost his OB hospital privileges.
Hundreds of his patients/clients demonstrated in support to no avail. Without the option of attending births that might have to move to the hospital, he had to stop the obstetrics altogether, and my last home birth was with a nurse midwife attending, which was probably for the good, too.
Back then, so many of us were pushing back against the desecration, but any gains we made seem to have lasted only a generation. I was surprised to learn how super technical and complicated an uncomplicated birth had become, when with my daughters as they gave birth in hospitals, and saw them deal with various levels of management.
I am grateful to you younger women who are speaking out and resisting and protecting your own selves and families from this abuse, and I’m weeping for all the mothers and babies (and nurses) who continue to suffer in countless ways under this dreadful system.
Thank you for sharing. For those women (and / or their skeptical partners) seeking reassurance about leaving the medical system for their births, this is a powerful summary and tool for contemplation. I hope many families benefit from this writing.
Another powerful and insightful piece as always Emily! Although my experience in the hospital giving birth to my first was fantastic all told, my experience with OBs has been awful. It’s made me more firm in my belief that a homebirth is the way to go for my second delivery. I want to birth in peace and not have one of the most beautiful moments of my life turn into a battle zone because of providers who don’t respect me or respect birth.
I am lucky to live in New Zealand, where we have a midwife-led maternity system. Most births are still in hospitals, but home birth is normal and accessible to most women. My own mother gave birth to 5 of her 6 children at home. When I birthed my daughter into the world at the ripe old age of 23, I chose to do so at home, with my midwife and my mother. I am so glad that I did, as my daughter is my only child. While my birth was an ordeal, it was a powerful experience I wouldn't trade for anything.
While pregnant I filled my head with all sorts of information about birthing and hospitals and all the rest. I was a member of la leche league and home birth groups. While I've moved on into a new chapter of mothering an almost-teenager, what I learned has informed my worldview for life.
I hope all mothers will one day get to experience birth as a normal and powerful experience, with our life-saving medical system there on standby if they need it, not screaming at their faces when they don't.
Hospital staff: "We need to check you so we know where you're at."
Me: "Just trust that I know it's time to push."
And then I proceeded to push out a 10 lb. 4 oz. boy in as instinctive and natural a way as I possibly could in the hospital. Best birth ever. (Note: this was my 6th out of 8 babies, 3 of which were c/sections and 5 v/bacs.) I totally get why many women prefer to birth at home. I'm so glad people are noticing this about hospitals and their mechanistic way of delivering babies and not respecting that this is a natural process for women.
Thank you for sharing this story! I especially appreciate these sorts of stories from women who have had many babies like yourself! I will never forget my first birth, walking into labor and delivery in transition, and the nurse telling me “oh honey, it’s gonna be awhile” because I wasn’t moaning or yelling and just thinking she was crazy. It wasn’t until they got their measurement that they believed me.
Thank you for reading, Melisa ♥️
I’ve had three births with a CPM outside of a hospital setting.
I started bleeding with my last baby at 16 weeks (baby was miscarried)-- late enough that my midwife told me to go to the hospital rather than try to pass the body at home, and I was legitimately scared to go just because I've heard so many horror stories.
I was legitimately surprised that I wasn't treated like a slab of meat (it possibly helped that I went through the ER instead of the OB office).
Every woman I know who's birthed in a hospital has a horror story. All of them. It's ridiculous.
I’m sorry about your loss, Emily, and glad to hear they treated you well. It is a sad state that we are in that many women feel apprehensive about seeking medical care when they deem it necessary and appropriate themselves.
This absolutely WRECKS my heart and sickens my stomach. I've heard a little bit of what goes on in hospital births, but nothing of this extent. Thank you for listening to that intuition and having the courage to quit. You are making a difference in this space.
I wish more mothers-to-be would believe this about hospital births! I’ve never experienced one but I wouldn’t wish one on anyone (medical emergencies excepted, of course.) Thank you for writing this!
Brilliant, resonates so much.