What rights should drug addicted moms have to their newborns?
Some notes from family court.
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I think it’s safe to say we are all big believers in the power of the mother/baby dyad. It’s sacred. It’s essential. It’s the most powerful human attachment.
Part of my job is to argue before a court about what sort of contact children should have with their mothers.
I work as a court appointed special advocate for children in the system— we call it “in dependency.” It can look like kids in foster care, living with a relative, in a group home, with one parent, with both parents while they go to ‘family preservation services.’
I have 38 cases.
That’s 38 families in some sort of crisis where the court believes the children are not safe with their parents. I have all sorts of BIG emotions and some criticisms for all parties. Of course, becoming a mother has re-oriented a lot of my views and I find the napalm hot rage I used to feel about these cases has been replaced with a pitiful sadness. There are some great outcomes, life affirming ones.
That all brings me to you, a community of mothers. How much do you believe in the dyad? How far should the state go to preserve it? Is this too far? Or too little?
Consider this sadly common scenario:
A newborn tests positive to fentanyl and meth at birth. Mom also tests positive. In the delivery ward she admits that she used drugs within the last 48 hours and during the weeks before she gave birth.
She has no stable place to live. The nurses flag that baby’s presumed father was nodding in out of of consciousness during the birth. The baby is placed in NICU. The parents leave, only returning every few days for short visits where they are combative with staff and visibly high.
What is to be done?
In my state, Washington, visits are separate from services. That is to say, visits are not used as a carrot or stick to convince a mother to get help. If she doesn’t go to rehab but still wants to see her baby, she’s entitled to a minimum of six hours a week.
She doesn’t need to be drug tested.
She can even be high during the visits as long as she’s alert.
The father has as many rights to the baby. If the couple is together they will visit the baby at the same time. But if they have split it up, the baby will be transported by a relative or visit supervisor to see each parent for at least 6 hours a week, totally 12 hours.
Most of these visits happen in a library or park with a visit supervisor. Sometimes they take place in a room at the Department of Youth and Family services. If the baby is staying with a relative, the visits can happen at the relative’s house. In the best case scenario, the visits take place at the rehab for pregnant and parenting mothers. If mom is enrolled in family treatment court, living at a rehab, and is succeeding in treatment, the court will start to give the mother overnight visits then eventually allow the baby to stay full time at the rehab until mom is discharged.
I had BIG feelings about this scenario when I first encountered it in my work but I’m more curious about yours.
The idea here to keep the bond between mom and baby, while also keeping baby safe, so while mom may not get clean right away — or ever. The chance of a relationship can still exist.
Eventually, though, after 19 months in foster care, the state can start the process to terminate mom’s (and dad’s) parental rights. A process which can take up to another year. If mom gets clean and relapses, that could also prolong the case. I have a case where the a baby, who is now five, has been in foster care all his life.
Miracles do happen. One of my cases involves a mother who lost three children to the state because of her addiction. She and her baby son are living together now, after 8 months clean. The court is still the baby’s legal guardian but he sleeps every night next to his (sober) mom.
I’m an advocate for five different babies who spent their first weeks of life in the NICU, existing on diet of morphine and formula. The nurses take turns holding them.
What do you think? If you were in charge, what would you do?
Ugh. This is so hard. I do believe the mom should be given a chance. AND I believe there needs to be all sorts of limits and standards. While each case probably requires such individualized consideration. With the child’s needs of safety and comfort and love being at the forefront of it all. It’s dizzying really.
I don't think drug use in and of itself should have any impact on separating mothers and babies. I don't think mothers should ever be drug tested by the state or required to undergo drug treatment. If there is severe neglect or abuse that happens to be caused (in part or in full) by drug use, then the only concern the state should possibly have is regarding the neglect or abuse. And the bar for separating mothers and babies due to neglect or abuse should be extremely high.